This is a test.

   Tomorrow morning I have to go to Eleanor's apartment to get her up for a telephone test on her pacemaker. She slept through the last one, so we are going to get her up and caffeinated prior to the test at 10:30 a.m.. This summer we went to the cardiologists office and were told that the battery in the pacemaker would last between 6 to 18 months; that was about 3 months ago, so she is a little nervous about the test tomorrow. The replacement of the battery in the pacemaker would require surgery, but we were told it would be a simple out patient procedure.
    I remember going to Mississippi when the pacemaker was put in. The process was scheduled as an out patient procedure, but she was in the hospital for 4 days. I guess one just prepares to expect the unexpected in these cases.
   Thanks to everyone who helped to celebrate Eleanor's birthday. She received lots of great gifts; probably too much candy, but who am I to say how much candy is too much.

Who will take care of me?

   Since Eleanor's visit with her sister in law Donna, she has been preoccupied with the question of what is going to become of her when she is too old to take care of herself. Donna is moving in with Paul and Nancy Neeley, and Eleanor is wondering who she will move in with. She has even referred me to an article in Reader's Digest about parents moving in with their children. She has become more and more concerned about her bank statements and the cost of living at Heartland. Her decision to give up her walker and use the wheel chair has definitely slowed her down and made things more difficult for her from the mobility standpoint. I've given up trying to get her to use a walker or get out of bed for lunch because all we seemed to do was argue. I concluded that she has make these decisions, so when I come to visit, I try to enjoy my time with her.
   I can recall my experiences with Joanne's mother Mary, and Aunt Marge. They both struggled to maintain their independence, but ultimately they realized they needed to get more help. I'm not sure what we will decide about her question.

What is truth?

Had a great visit on Monday with Neeley relatives in Seward.  My Aunt Donna had wanted to come to Nebraska to see Eleanor, and the opportunity to make the trip occurred when Nancy Neeley drove to Weeping Water, Nebraska to visit daughter Cora, son in law Adam and grandchildren . The weather was beautiful and a good time was had by all.
   Donna is 84, and is doing quite well, she reminded me of all the things Eleanor could do when she arrived in Seward. She have lost a lot of abilities over the past six years. Eleanor was recounting one of her stories about when she first moved to Pennsylvania and met her in-laws.
One morning Eleanor awoke and found a five to six year old  Elwood standing next to her bed. "Daddy shot Harper" Elwood announced.
 Fred was not close to his family, so they didn't make an effort to trace down the events surrounding Elwood's announcement. It did seem possible the Fred's dad might have indeed shot at his son in law Harper.
When Eleanor recounted her experience, Donna added a new fact to the story. Harper it seems was the name of the family dog, and her dad had indeed shot Harper. 
   I have heard that story many times and had concluded along with Eleanor that my Grandfather Neeley was an ill tempered and violent person. I have heard other things that seem to fit with that conclusion, however the Harper story can no longer be cited as proof. I wonder how many impressions we have about people and events that are based on incomplete or incorrect memories?

Getting Ready

   Eleanor's Neeley relatives are coming Monday for a visit. All told the number stands at 10, so we have been busy with planning for a luncheon. They should all arrive about noon, and we will head for my house for lunch and visiting. I will take the great- nieces and nephews out side or to the basement, so everyone can visit. Eleanor's hearing aids work best with one or two people talking, so a big crowd will only confuse her.
   She had a good visit at Dr. Donovan's office and her next appointment is in January, so the shots have been having the desired effect on her back and hip. Next week will be a busy one as she has visitors on Monday, a perm on Tuesday, and plans to go to the movie matinee of "The Help" on Wednesday.

Colds and codeine.

   Eleanor has had a bad cold, possibly mild pneumonia. this past week. We went to the clinic on Thursday to see Dr. Suma ; he had an intern with him and after listening to Eleanor's lungs told her that he thought this might be as close to the sound of pneumonia as he could have her listen to. My sister Barb came down to visit this weekend, but unsure how much visiting took place, as Eleanor was using the codeine cough syrup that Dr. Suma had given her for her cough. Barb did manage to get Eleanor to get dressed after telling her she couldn't stay in the same pajamas for 36 hours( probably more like 48). I get nervous about codeine for Eleanor as Dr. Froehner  used to give her pills to help her sleep that had codeine in them. I believe it may have contributed to her falling. She called me today to wish me a happy Labor Day, so I'll take that as a sign that she is recovering.
   Eleanor is still in the wheel chair and has refused to use her walker. Evelyn's falling and breaking her hip has frightened Mom to the point that she won't use her walker. She had the Heartland staff put in in her shower.
   Happy Labor Day to all!

Old scrap books.

   Liz called the other night and said that she had taken the boys to see Eleanor, and get some ice cream cones at Heartland. While she was there, Eleanor was pulling old cards from her scrap book of the World War II years. She has kept that book for over 60 years, and suddenly she decided to "recycle" the cards, by tearing them out of the book and giving them to the ladies at Heartland to make new cards. Joanne, Mark, and I took Eleanor to lunch at the Country Club today, and she had baked salmon with green beans. She really enjoyed missing dinner at Heartland.
   When we returned to the apartment, Joanne rescued the remains of the scrap book and brought it to our house "for the boys to look at". There were lots of news articles from the Goodhue and Red Wing papers as well as cartoons, church bulletins, and magazine articles. I wish she hadn't decided to recycle, as I feel we have lost a link to her life. Something that one could go to and get a sense of who their mother, grand mother, or great grandmother was.
   Last week was a difficult one for Eleanor, she was depressed as she went through a period of remembering Fred's birthday, death, their anniversary, and Evelyn's broken hip. She seems to be doing much better now; she had several days of visits from Mark, and Liz and the boys, a family cookout with  Mark, Dan and Jill, Liz, Sam, Maggie, Austin, Shelby, and Natalie in attendance.
   It's important to get out and see the world instead of sitting in Heartland. It's a nice place to live, but probably gets "old" being there day after day. Her back pain seems much improved, so maybe some short outings may be just what the doctor might ordered.
 

Lois, Evelyn, and Irene.

   Joanne and I took Eleanor to the Nebraska Pain Clinic on Thursday for a steroid injection in her back. She has had injections before and sometimes they help and sometimes they do not. Our appointment was at 2 p.m., so we went to Perkins for an afternoon meal before returning to Heartland. She had two eggs, French toast, bacon, and hash browns; I was amazed at the amount of food she ate. We returned to Heartland, and we iced her back and drank some Gatorade to try to keep her sodium levels up.
   I have spent quite a bit of time the last two days with Eleanor to monitor her sodium level and make sure that she isn't showing signs of confusion. Hopefully we have been proactive enough that she won't have to have a sodium infusion, and getting the pain shots won't be so traumatic for her.
   I left for home at 3 p.m. today before she went to dinner. Eleanor just called to tell me her friend Evelyn Garske had fallen and broken her hip.  Evelyn is mom's closest friend at Heartland and she really enjoys her company. I am sure that this will be depressing for Eleanor, as this is the second good friend at Heartland that has had a broken hip. When Eleanor moved into Heartland she became good friends with her neighbor,Lois Geisselman; Lois broke her hip and died about three weeks later. Another friend, Irene had a stroke about two months ago; Eleanor and Irene used to crochet together when Mom lived in independent living.
   I'm sure that Mom will be saddened by the loss of another friend. In coming to Seward, she left all her friends from Mississippi, but Mom has always been outgoing and able to connect with people. It is difficult to lose ones friends, and being in assisted living hasn't made getting out and meeting people any easier for Eleanor.
   Please keep those cards and notes coming, as they remind her she isn't forgotten or alone.